


Frumentum

by Wadds



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Improper use of corn, Other, Outdoor Sex, Sexual Inexperience, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 14:34:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11969391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wadds/pseuds/Wadds
Summary: Hayseed finds new appreciation for a certain yellow starch.





	Frumentum

“Doc’s busy, Hayseed. Go watch th’corn.”  
“Y’know, you should be watchin; th’corn, Hay.”  
“Did you remember t’watch th’corn?”

The corn this, the corn that. What was so special about a freaking field of yellow blobs of fiber that your body couldn’t even process? Sometimes, he wished that a giant crow would come and fuck up the whole field so that the Doctor would stop nagging him about the damn thing.   
He was definitely moping. His hand occasionally pushed up past the collar of his mask to pick at a pair of new stitches. Wonderful. He’d gotten into a fight with a real ornery bird over some stupid corn. He tried eating some once. He didn’t like it. Got stuck in his teeth and tasted a bit too bland. Even though he groaned and whined about it, the routine was almost embedded in his brain:  
See a crow. Chase the crow. Scream at crow. Check corn. Over, and over, and over again. Today wasn’t even a good day! It was for sure a bad day. He was feeling really pent up, but the Doctor was way too busy on something “real foking important” to pay any actual attention to him. This happened sometimes, but it was real bad today. He couldn’t even do anything himself, since the birds kept showing up, interrupting any attempt he made. They were real intent on getting this corn today. He ran over to a large group of the black fucking feathered flies and started screaming and flailing his arms around. When the birds all scattered, he promptly flipped them off and looked around.  
A whole piece.. Er, cob? Whatever the fuck they call it, was on the friggin ground! It was a big one too. He picked it up and dusted it off. Unlike most of the corn, it was a solid yellow one. Most had some whites in it. And in the light, it was super shiny. Yep. He was definitely gonna keep this. He carried it over to his post and sat down, examining it closer. Every kernel on the thing was surprisingly in place. Usually there’d be a couple missing. He smiles, the only thing good about corn was the texture. It felt real nice to rub. He drags a finger down the side and shivers.  
Oh no. What’s this tiny voice in his head? It’s telling him that… He looks around, then heads around the back of the building and plops himself down against a wall. He holds out the corn, staring at it intensely. Well, there was only one way to find out if an idea was a good one or not. He looks around again, out of habit, then sets the cob down and starts pushing his shorts down.   
The ground was pretty unwelcoming. It was cold and hard, but hey, it was secluded. He angled himself so that he formed a sort of c-shape against the wall and ground. He grabs the corn and starts drooling on it. He wasn’t just gonna shove it in, and he was pretty wary of how dry it was. His face started to heat up and he snorts. Getting screwed by the exact food item he hates. What a day. He was pretty into the idea too, judging by how hard he was. He places the slightly pointed end of the corn against his ass and takes a deep breath before pushing it in.  
Holy shit, did it feel better than he was expecting. It was a bit weird, sure, but the pros outweighed the cons by a ton. He hisses, having held his breath while inserting it. The kernels did a real nice job of bringing constant stimulation to his insides. It took a little getting used to, but soon enough, all the little bumps were making him a bit crazier than normal. He pulled and twisted the thing, sliding down the wall as his arm gave out. The whole sensation inside him was maddening. He briefly wondered why he hadn’t done this sooner. Any coherent thoughts sunk to the back of his head as he ended up lying prone on the ground. The cold added to the mix, and he gargled a moan, pulling his knees up.  
He slowly pressed the corn further into himself, turning it side to side as his body trembled gently, from nerves and the stress of his position. In a fit of heat, he uses his other hand to squeeze his cock, cooing at the added pleasure. He groaned, letting his head fall back, his two hands pumping out of time. He shut his eyes, bits of laughter caught inbetween moans falling out of his mouth. God, this was way too good, he was sure he was going insane. His stomach flipped and he could feel the pressure building like a piston about to blow. He managed to shove as much of the corn into his ass as possible before arching his back and hissing out a strangled sounding sigh as he came into his hand.  
He let his knees fall, pulling the corn out - with some last few seconds of bumpy stimulus - and scooted himself back up against the wall. He wiped his hand off in a patch of dirt nearby and pulled his pants back up. He stared at the object in his hand and scratched his head. There was a problem…  
Where the fuck was he gonna hide this thing for next time?


End file.
